Menu

Verywell Health

Is Your Doctor Bullying You During Appointments?

Health A-Z

Arthritis

Type 2 Diabetes

Heart Disease

Digestive Health

Lung Cancer

Multiple Sclerosis

View All

Prevention & Treatment

Vaccines

First Aid

Surgery

Herbal Medicine

Supplements

Healthy Aging

View All

Health Care

Health Insurance

Public Health

Patient Rights

Health Technology

Caregivers & Loved Ones

End of Life Concerns

View All

News

Coronavirus

Health News

Tools & Resources

Thyroid Test Analyzer

Doctor Discussion Guides

Hemoglobin A1c Test Analyzer

Lipid Test Analyzer

Complete Blood Count (CBC) Analyzer

Healthy Conversations Coach

Renal Test Analyzer

About Us

Editorial Process

Medical Review Board

Search

Search Clear GO

More in Patient Rights

Patient Advocacy

Navigating Your Diagnosis

Treatment Decisions & Safety

Medical Records

Managing Medical Costs

Healthcare Team

Hospital Stay Safety

View More

Tools & Resources

Thyroid Test Analyzer

Doctor Discussion Guides

Hemoglobin A1c Test Analyzer

Lipid Test Analyzer

Complete Blood Count (CBC) Analyzer

Healthy Conversations Coach

Renal Test Analyzer

Coronavirus vs. Flu

How to Properly Use Hand Sanitizer

Tobacco: New Legal Minimum Age

Best OTC Flu Meds

Who Should Wear Medical Masks?

COVID-19 Timeline

Health A-Z

Arthritis

Type 2 Diabetes

Heart Disease

Digestive Health

Lung Cancer

Multiple Sclerosis

View All

Prevention & Treatment

Vaccines

First Aid

Surgery

Herbal Medicine

Supplements

Healthy Aging

View All

Health Care

Health Insurance

Public Health

Patient Rights

Health Technology

Caregivers & Loved Ones

End of Life Concerns

View All

News

Coronavirus

Health News

View All

About Us

Editorial Process

Privacy Policy

Contact Us

Visit our other Verywell sites:

Verywell Fit Verywell Mind Verywell Family

Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved

<span class="koboSpan" id="kobo.17.11"> &lt;article id=&#34;article_1-0&#34; data-title=&#34;Is Your Doctor Bullying You During Appointments?&#34; </span><span class="koboSpan" id="kobo.17.12">data-tt=&#34;STRUCTUREDCONTENT&#34; data-aid=&#34;&#34; data-disable-popup=&#34;false&#34; role=&#34;article&#34; data-meta-title=&#34;Is Your Doctor Bullying You?&#34; </span><span class="koboSpan" id="kobo.17.13">data-ptax=&#34;vwh_patient-empowerment&#34; data-doc-id=&#34;4152017&#34; data-au=&#34;231746&#34; data-url=&#34;https://www.verywellhealth.com/is-your-doctor-a-bully-4152017&#34; data-t=&#34;110&#34; data-tracking-container=&#34;true&#34;&gt; &lt;header&gt; &lt;div id=&#34;article-preheading_1-0&#34; class=&#34;menu-button-container&#34;&gt; &lt;span id=&#34;news-badge-wrapper_1-0&#34;&gt;&lt;/span&gt; &lt;div id=&#34;breadcrumbs_1-0&#34; class=&#34;menu-button-container&#34; data-tracking-container=&#34;true&#34;&gt; &lt;div class=&#34;menu-button-container&#34;&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;https://www.verywellhealth.com/patient-rights-4014673&#34;&gt;Patient Rights&lt;/a&gt; &lt;svg xmlns=&#34;http://www.w3.org/2000/svg&#34; class=&#34;icon icon-arrow-right 2&#34;&gt; &lt;use xlink:href=&#34;#icon-arrow-right&#34;/&gt; &lt;/svg&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div class=&#34;menu-button-container&#34;&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;https://www.verywellhealth.com/patient-advocacy-4013873&#34;&gt;Patient Advocacy&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;/header&gt; &lt;/article&gt; &lt;/main&gt; &lt;/body&gt;&lt;/html&gt; </span>

Is Your Doctor Bullying You During Appointments?

Discover how bullying doctors impact patient care

By

Sherri Gordon

 Sherri Gordon is a published author and a bullying prevention expert.

Learn about our editorial process

Sherri Gordon

Fact checked by

Fact checked by James Lacy on November 26, 2020

linkedin

James Lacy, MLS, is a fact checker and researcher. James received a Master of Library Science degree from Dominican University.

Learn about our editorial process

James Lacy

Updated on November 26, 2020

iStockphoto

Most people assume that as we grow older, bullies begin to disappear from our lives. But research has shown that some bullies never put aside their overbearing ways. Instead, they continue to intimidate, manipulate and abuse people well into adulthood. After all, bullying works for them, so there is no motivation to change. What's more, adult bullies can be found in almost every area of life. Even the medical field is not immune to having bullies among its ranks.

How a Doctor’s Bullying Impacts You

Confrontational and abusive healthcare providers make appointments and procedures extremely unpleasant and sometimes even dangerous for their patients. For instance, doctors who bully often undermine communication between the rest of the healthcare team. This can lead to you receiving unnecessary treatments as well as even having surgeries that may not even be needed.

In fact, research has shown that doctors who are bullies often discourage communication. This, in turn, has a negative effect on the quality of care you receive. For example, a study conducted by the Institute for Safe Medication Practices (ISMP) found that 40 percent of healthcare providers didn’t voice their concerns about a patient’s medication because to do so would require them to question an overbearing doctor.﻿﻿

That same study also found that bullying behavior is prevalent in the healthcare system. In fact, 60 percent of clinicians said they have experienced verbal bullying. Meanwhile, 50 percent reported having to confront intimidating body language. Likewise, some patients are regularly intimidated by their physicians. As a result, they are less likely to disagree or to speak up for fear of making the doctor angry. Consequently, bullied patients are often reluctant to share troubling symptoms or ask questions about their prescriptions, especially if their doctor has a short fuse or regularly becomes irritated or impatient.

Be Careful Not to Label Every Outburst Bullying

When it comes to dealing with patients, most doctors go to great lengths to maintain a pleasant bedside manner. But sometimes it can be difficult to remain positive and upbeat. For instance, it is no secret that healthcare providers are overworked. They are often tired and stressed, which can make them cranky and lead to less than desirable behavior.

Uncooperative patients also can try a doctor's patience especially if the patient is not taking his professional advice seriously or following the agreed upon treatment plan. And patients who self-diagnose or believe they know more than the doctor can put a strain on the doctor-patient relationship. While building a rapport with your doctor is important, some patients take this concept too far and become demanding. All of these things can lead a doctor to be grouchy and abrupt.

But before you label your doctor a bully, remember that bullying exists when there is a pattern to the behavior. In other words, if your doctor has only been rude or short with you once, this is more likely an isolated incident and you can chalk it up to a bad day. His mean behavior becomes bullying when you receive persistent insults, criticisms, and other actions that exert power and control over you.

Remember, the doctor who is sometimes gruff is not truly a bully. He might be insensitive, seem overly rushed, get caught up in his own expertise or lack a patient-centered focus, but he does not always behave inappropriately. It is the doctors that regularly display mean and controlling behavior that you have to worry about.

Signs Your Doctor Is a Bully

While it is counterintuitive to find a bully in a helping profession, bullies do exist in the medical field. Here are some red flags that your doctor may be a bully:

Refuses to answer your questions or provide you with information about your condition. In other words, he expects you to follow his suggestions for treatment without any additional information and seems really put out if you ask questions. His expectation is that he is the expert and you should just take his word for it and do exactly as he says. Remember, you should always play a role in making healthcare decisions.

Intimidates and manipulates you into having examinations or procedures that you do not want to have without explanation as to why they are medically necessary. Remember, you have a right to refuse treatment. You are not required to give a physician absolute authority over your body.

Displays arrogant and self-righteous behavior. For instance, if you ask about his experience or expertise in a particular area, he is clearly insulted. What's more, he may even make a rude comment about how well-educated and experienced he is.

Lacks empathy. Some healthcare providers have a hard time displaying emotion when diagnosing a serious illness. However, this is not the same as showing a lack of empathy. Doctors who lack empathy or emotional intelligence, simply do not care that you are upset, worried or nervous. It will seem as if they do not even notice what you are feeling and if they do notice they do not care.

Does not respect your need for modesty or privacy. Most doctors will knock on the door before entering. They also will move your gown as little as possible to preserve your modesty while examining you. If your doctor barges into your room without knocking and does not respect your dignity, then he may be a bully. It also is a red flag if he fails to warn you of what he is about to do while examining you or if he leaves you in an exposed position.

Speaks condescendingly toward you. Doctors are well-educated and knowledgeable, but this does not give them the right to treat you like you are stupid. If your doctor talks down to you or does not speak respectfully, this could be a sign that he is a bully.

Handles you roughly. While it is true, there are some examinations and procedures that hurt, your doctor should still be sensitive to your comfort. He also should refrain from any unnecessary prodding. If your doctor regularly hurts you without explanation or apology, you may want to consider finding another healthcare provider.

Treats his nurses and assistants poorly. If a doctor's nurses, physician assistants, and support staff are nervous around him, this is a bad sign. A quality healthcare team should always have good communication among its team members. If the others involved in your care seem afraid to make a mistake, this could be detrimental to you in the long run. Remember, when medical teams do not exhibit mutual respect and open communication, in the end, you will be the one who suffers.

Regardless of how skilled your physician is, if he exhibits these traits on a regular basis, it may be time to find a new doctor. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, and you should settle for nothing less.

A Word From Verywell

If you feel like your doctor is a bully to you or to a loved one, do not ignore the situation. Doing so could compromise the quality of care you receive. Instead, try talking to the doctor about his abusive conduct or take the matter to a supervisor. If standing up to the bully is not effective and he continues to intimidate you, it is time to find a new physician. If his behavior is severe, you may want to consider reporting his behavior to the state licensing board. Remember, just because your doctor may be an expert in his field does not give him the right to bully you.

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

Sign up for our Health Tip of the Day newsletter, and receive daily tips that will help you live your healthiest life.

Sign Up

You're in!

Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up.

There was an error. Please try again.

What are your concerns?

Other Inaccurate Hard to Understand

Article Sources

Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Grissinger M. Unresolved disrespectful behavior in health care: Practitioners speak up (again)-part 1. P T. 2017;42(1):4-23.

Additional Reading

"Intimidation Still a Problem in Hospital Workplace, ISMP Survey Show," Institute for Safe Medicine Practices, October 2013. https://www.ismp.org/pressroom/PR20131003.pdf

Related Articles

ICU Nurses Reflect on Pandemic Challenges and Triumphs

Fact checked by James Lacy

5 Steps You Can Take To Protect Yourself From Online Harassment

Fact checked by Ashley Hall

How Do I Know If I'm In a Codependent Relationship?

By Heather Jones

Why Physicians Are Encouraging Their Patients to Vote

Fact checked by James Lacy

How to Deal With an Arrogant Doctor

Fact checked by Lisa Sullivan, MS

Is Your Doctor Patient-Centered? 3 Ways to Know for Sure

Fact checked by Sheeren Jegtvig

Consider Telemedicine for Multiple Sclerosis

By Colleen Doherty, MD

Your Pediatrician May Miss Signs of Autism

Medically reviewed by Aron Janssen, MD

Is There a Connection Between Autism and Spirituality?

Medically reviewed by Jonathan B. Jassey, DO

X-Rays and MRIs Not Needed for Acute Low Back Pain Evaluation

Medically reviewed by Stuart Hershman, MD

What to Expect When You Visit Your Doctor for Back Pain

Medically reviewed by Grant Hughes, MD

Is Your Social Anxiety Natural or Social Anxiety Disorder?

By Kimberly Charleson

Women With Disabilities At Risk For Adverse Pregnancy Outcomes, Study Finds

Fact checked by James Lacy

Should You See a Physiatrist?

Medically reviewed by Laura Campedelli, PT, DPT

Life as a Long-Hauler: American Ninja Warrior Calls COVID-19 His Biggest Obstacle Yet

Fact checked by James Lacy

Coping With Loss of Empathy After a Stroke

Medically reviewed by Sarah Rahal, MD

Verywell Health uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience. By using Verywell Health, you accept our

use of cookies.

Verywell Health

Daily Health Tips to Your Inbox

Sign Up

You're in!

Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up.

There was an error. Please try again.

Follow Us

facebook

pinterest

instagram

flipboard

Health A-Z

Prevention & Treatment

Health Care

News

Medical Review Board

About Us

Editorial Process

Anti-Racism Pledge

Privacy Policy

In the News

Cookie Policy

Advertise

Terms of Use

Careers

California Privacy Notice

Contact

Visit our other Verywell sites:

Verywell Fit Verywell Mind Verywell Family

Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved

Verywell Health is part of the Dotdash publishing family.